When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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