stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
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