O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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