A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Randomize
