i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
