All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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