apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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