Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
tonight lets celebrate not being married
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
