this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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