i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
