New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
