Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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