it's too hot outside to masturbate.
someone owes me an orgasm
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
