Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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