im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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