You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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