All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
