i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
this will be a night to untag.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
