shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
