I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
