The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
