Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
