that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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