Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
