There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
