Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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