oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
