Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
