I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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