hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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