my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
