is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
