He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
