Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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