apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
