his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
