That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
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