this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Do vagina's smell?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
