I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
