i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
