My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Is that strawberry winking at me??
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
