I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
no you cant smoke seaweed
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
