Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
