Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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