at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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