You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
