ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
