I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
