Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
