he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
